VOLARE RIDENDO...  

Negli anni '60, '70 e '80 si viaggiava moltissimo per lavoro, alla scoperta di quel mondo che nei decenni successivi avremmo visto globalizzarsi e diventare contiguo ma che a quell'epoca - una parolona ? - non lo era davvero ! E ci si spostava sempre in aereo, volando un pò con tutte le compagnie aeree: si era in piena Guerra Fredda... Così era diventato un passatempo divertente scambiarsi gli acrostici - in inglese, l'unica lingua del tempo - di moda allora sui nomi delle varie compagnie aeree, alcuni azzeccatissimi: ve ne riportiamo alcuni da noi ricordati, alcuni anche tradotti, ed altri trovati ora nel web, chiedendo a chi ne ricorda altri di farcelo sapere in modo di poterli aggiungere... a futura memoria !
Carlo Luigi Ciapetti & Marco Lelio Menesini
 

AA o American (USA)
Arrogant A$$holes
Always Awful
Antique Aircraft
Atrocious Airways
A Miracle Each Rider Is Currently Alive Now
Airline Meals Eaten Regularly Induces Cramps And Nausea

AP o Aero Perù (Perù)
Aero Peor (il peggiore degli aerei)

AI o Air India (India)
Allah Informed... (abbiamo avvertito Allah...)
An Interesting Ride, I'll Not Do It Again

Air France (Francia)
And In Reality Freakin' Rough And No Clue Ever

Aer Lingus (Irlanda)
Arousing Erotic Randy Ladies In Nice Green Uniform Suits

Aeroflot (URSS poi Russia)
Airline Every Russian Or Foreigner Leaves On Terrified
Accidents Expected Regularly On F****** Lethal Old Tupolevs

Alitalia (Italia)
Always Late In Takeoff And Landing, In Anything  (sempre in ritardo al decollo e all’arrivo, in qualsiasi cosa)
Always Late In Transit, Always Late In Arrival
Aircraft Landed In Tokyo And Luggage In Alicante
A Little Italian Tit And Lotsa Italian Ass
A Little Italian Tradition And Lotsa Italian Attitude

Ansett (Australia)
Aircraft Nosewheel Stuck, Expect Tricky Touchdown

AUA (Austria)
Almost Unknown Airline  (quasi sconosciuta come compagnia aerea)

BEA (Inghilterra)
Better Eat Afterwards
Britain's Excuse for an Airline

BA (Inghilterra)
Bloody Awful
British Apoplectic
Bad Attitude

BOAC (USA)
Better On A Camel ! (meglio su un cammello !)
Base Over Apex Corporation
Bend Over And Cough
Blast Off And Crash
Boeing Only Aircraft Club

BWIA (Trinidad e Tobago)
Baggage Wandering In Africa  (bagagli erranti per l'Africa)
Better Walk If you're Able  (meglio camminare, se vi riesce)
Born to Wait In Airports  (nata per aspettare negli aeroporti)
But Will I Arrive ?  (ma arriverò mai ?)

CAAC (Cina)
China Airplanes Always Crashes  (gli aerei cinesi cadono sempre)
Chinese Airlines Always Cancel  (le aerolinee cinesi cancellano sempre i voli)

CPA o CAI (Canada)
Can't Promise Anything
Crash And Ignite
Call Ambulance Immediately
Circle Airport Indefinitely
Cruise Above Iceland
Cancel Alaskan Itinerary
Call Attendants "Idiots"
Check All Items
Copilots Are Imbeciles
Casual Atmosphere Inside

Dan Air (Inghilterra)
Dangerous And Nearly Always Incredibly Rough

Delta (USA)
Damaged Engines Limit Take-off Ability  (i bagagli danneggiati ritardano il decollo)
Don't Ever Land There Again
Departures Extra-Late, Tardy Arrivals
Directed Everybody's Luggage To Atlanta
Doesn't Even Leave The Airport
Doesn't Ever Let Terrorists Aboard
Doesn't Experience Like This Adrenaline?
Don't Even Let Them Aboard
Drunken Engineers Land Too Abruptly

EAA (East African Airways - Kenya, Tanganika, Uganda e Zanzibar)
Even Apes Aviate  (anche le scimmie volano...)

EL AL (Israele)

Everyone’s Luggage Always Lost  (sempre perso ogni bagaglio)
Egyptian Louting Arab Loathing
Every Landing Always Late
Every Landing Always Lousy

Emirates (Dubai)
English Managed, Indian Run, A Thousand Ex-pats Suffering
English Managed, Indian Run, Arab Takeover Expected Soon

Finnair (Finlandia)
Flies Ideally? Nah, Not Airborne In Reality

Garuda (Indonesia)
Good And Reliable…Under Dutch Administration  (buona e affidabile finché fu… sotto l’amministrazione olandese)

JAL (Giappone)
Journey Always Late

JAT (Serbia, era la  compagnia di bandiera della Jugoslavia)
Joke About Time

JMC (Inghilterra, fino al 2003)
Just More Crap...

LIAT (Antigua e Barbuda)
Luggage Is Always Tardy
Lost In-between Antigua, Trinidad
Leave Island Any Time
Late If At All
Luggage In Any Terminal
Lost Interest All Together

LOT (Polonia)
Lots Of Trouble

Lufthansa (Germania Ovest)
Let Us Fuck The Hostess And Not Say Anything ! (lasciateci scopare l'hostess e state zitti !)
Let Us F*** The Hostess As No Steward Available

Northwest (USA)
Nobody Out Ranks This Horrid, Worthless, Excruciatingly Sluggish Transport

Olympic (Grecia)
Onassis Likes Your Money Paid In Cash  (a Onassis piacciono i tuoi soldi, in contanti

PA o PAL (Filippine)
Please Avoid
Plane Always Late

Pan Am (USA)
Passengers Always Need A Mortician
Pilots Are Not A Must
Poor Airline Needs Any Money
Plan on Arriving Nervewracked And Mad

PIA (Pakistan)
Please Inform Allah !  (per favore avvertite Allah !)
Panic In Airspace  (panico nello spazio !)
Passenger's Illegal Abductor
Perhaps I Arrive

PSA (USA)
Paul's Saturday Airline

PWA (USA)
Pete's Wobbly Airline
Piddly Widdly Airline
Please Wait Awhile

Qantas (Australia)
Quite A Nice Take-off: Any Survivors ?  (ottimo decollo: ci sono sopravvissuti ?)
Queers And Nymphos Trained As Stewards  (finocchi e ninfomani addestrati come personale di bordo)
Queasy and Nauseous, Tired And Sick
Quick And Nasty Transportation, Australian Style
Quite A Neat Trick, Arriving Safely
Quits Air-travel, Next Time Approaches Ship

Sabena (Belgio)
Such A Bad Experience Never Again  (mai più un'esperienza così schifosa)
Such A Bloody Experience - Never Again
Select A Better European National Airline

SAHSA (Honduras)
Stay At Home, Stay Alive

SAS (Svezia, Danimarca e Norvegia)
Sex After Service  (prima il servizio, poi il sesso)
Sweet And Sexy
Service After Sex
Sex And Satisfaction
Such A S**t

SIA (Singapore)
Sex In the Air
Singapore Imitates America

TAA (Australia)
Try Another Airline

TACA (Salvador)
Take Another Carrier Always
Take A Chance Airways
Take A Coffin Along
Tome Alcohol Cuanda Aborda

TAP (Portogallo)
Take A Parachute  (prenditi un paracadute)
Take Another Plane  (prendi un altro aereo)

THY (Turchia)
They Hate You  (loro vi odiano)

TNT (Belgio)
Tomorrow Not Tonight

Transavia (Olanda)
To Rape A New Stewardess After V1 Is Allowed

TWA (USA)
Try Walking Across...  (meglio che il viaggio ve lo facciate a piedi...)
Teeny Weeny Airlines
Terrorists Welcome Aboard
That Was Accidental
That Was Awful
Today's Worst Airline
Tomorrow’s Worst Airline
Tomorrow We'll Arrive
Tomorrow's Widebody Accident
Totally Wasted Airlines
Travel With Arabs
Travel With Alcohol
Try With Another

United (USA)
U Need Insurance That Exempts Death
Usually Not Inclined To Eliminate Disasters

USAir (USA)
Unfortunately Still Allegheny In Reality
Underwater Seats Available In Rear

UTA (Francia)
Unlikely To Arrive
Unable To Ascend

Varig (Brasile)
Virgins Are Rare In Glasgow
Voyage Awfully Rough Into Gringoland

Virgin (Inghilterra)
Very Interesting Ride: Going Into Nymphos